I've been listening to some great audio books & lectures on CD that have been talking about creativity and the creativity that comes from dreams. So this is my first ever (acknowledged/recognized/recorded) dream-inspired poem.
Taking Off and Letting Go
packing for a trip I didn't know I was taking.
I brought it all with me
more baggage than I needed
more baggage than could fit
since you brought out your
secret motorcycle.
It didn't sit in your garage
it wasn't out front on the street.
I walked
holding on to all my baggage
through the neighbour's fence
through two back yards
up a stranger's driveway
to find you.
Carrying two stuffed suitcases
handbag
small box
grocery bag
I held it all
dropped my jaw...
You used to drive a van!
You used to tell me the plan!
Now feeling stubborn and chided and lost
I sit in this awkward sidecar
yoga mat strapped to my back
purse between my knees
holding nothing
all my things left behind
on the unknown concrete
to let you lead the way.
LyndiaP Nov.2, 2010
Enjoy how it's written like journey and how you lead the reader in lines like "through two back yards up a stranger's driveway."
ReplyDeleteGood surprise! and I love the progression-
ReplyDeletenice. love that letting go and wild abandon in being on the back of the motorcycle in the end...nice one shot!
ReplyDeleteDear Lyndia,
ReplyDeleteStart of a great journey... begins with one step and as this one is your first one, best of luck and you have a great time with words and dreams...
I liked the start of journey with all the karmic baggage you can carry.. Interesting thought... I liked the way you brought out the loss of van and side car... I enjoyed it. Its interesting.
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
What a ride, Lyndia! Great One Shot!
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely poem - our forward movement will always be impeded by the amount of past we're unwilling to leave behind. Stands to reason.
ReplyDeletethis was dream inspired...havent tried that myself..but sounds good...a great read and thoroughly enjoyed it...thanks for sharing..pete
ReplyDeleteThank you all very much. It's always great to hear how things you've written effect others or what strikes someone as most memorable.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to a second "one shot" (if not too oxymoronic)!
Nice symbols for change. Good work.
ReplyDeleteThis is true poetry.
ReplyDeleteI love the imagery of this poem. It is a wonderful metaphor on real life's sudden changes. The line "more baggage than I needed" is almost real enough to be a universal truth. It might need a little bit of editing though, because the order of events seems a little off. I think you mentioned the secret motocycle was mentioned a little bit too early. But maybe you were foreshadowing and intended it that way.
ReplyDeleteThanks again everyone!
ReplyDeleteAnd Alex - I did think about the "revealing of the secret motorcycle" a bit before posting and felt that the secret was somehow both supposed to be surprising and ironic I guess. But I'm glad you pointed that out :)