Thursday, November 4

Four for Four!

November 4th AND my fourth poem this month! Too bad it wasn't also April 2004... then I could be 4 for 4 on 4/04/04. Alas, it is not.

This poem is a mix of things - some prose, rhyme & a haiku so a slightly untraditional Haibun poem.

Season's Secret

winter: a place where sandaled feet on green grass should strike a heart with mild fear.

I can see you're 'fraid of Winter
when you curse this interval's name.
I can see you're scared of Winter.
It emits stillness; you breath fame.

Your cold feet about this season
I assert, are without reason

feverish progress
epidemic glow of 'more'
Winter: calming cure.

LyndiaP Nov.4, 2010


  1. I really like how you are experimenting with different styles and forms. That could be really useful when you are stuck with writer's block. I also like the very first line; it is almost a new definition from a dictionary, and I've seen that style used to great success in satire and ironic pieces before. A little critique, I think the word "fame" is a little forced; perhaps "blame" would be better.

  2. Interesting critique... I was going for "fame" as some kind of analogy to the busy, bustling, unsettled movement upwards that I feel winter is a cure for... but I was probably too attached to the rhyme scheme!

    I do like using different style/form! It was especially good for doing something each day... I may have felt tired sooner without the freedom to keep inventing and creating the form as well as the content.