one morning after an evening

Puddles of Black
with stars
A Mid-Street Kiss
behind the wheel

Places for Pouring Out
Souls

Tour Time: Dunaras Dorm

Calling Peace by Other Names

As a non-T.V. watcher who is currently viewing some generic programming to overcome some serious jet lag I have been out of the loop with "breaking news." I have also been significantly removed from the rhetoric of international conflict and anti-terrorism. I've been studying mindfulness, practicing relinquishing control of the fruitless struggle to impose my will on the way my life unfolds. The announcement of Osama Bin Laden's death and how it was communicated to the world.

Clearly calmness of mind and the intention for peace were certainly not what was inspired yesterday evening. It was not the purpose of the Breaking News. The drastic and almost panicked broadcast of Osama Bin Laden's death conjured up both confusion and fear. I thought this was supposed to do the opposite? What about peace? What about feeling secure? I appreciated a more sober and holistic reflection on the news from the blog of the yogis of the Akhanda school at http://akhandayoga.wordpress.com/2011/05/02/an-eye-for-an-eye-makes-the-whole-world-blind/

This perspective helped me to see and to remember what it was exactly, which made me so uneasy and disheartened. It is the same thing that struck me most through the violent goals of the whole "War on Terror" and displayed concretely with death of Bin Laden that were clearly hateful, biased, reactions void of reason and compassion but continually toted as 'justice.' For me these tactics and their results seem to leave a great deal of uncertainty of what justice actually is and what it should feel like when it is realized. Can justice be only for one and not all?

If I ever have the opportunity to enact justice I certainly hope that after the verdict is passed and consequences complete that the news to be broken could be a source of comfort, an example of goodness and equality and for the ultimate goal of realizing peace.

From the banks of the Ganges

I am visiting the lovely northern region of India and spent an afternoon on the banks of the Ganges in the Himalayan foothills. It was a very beautiful experience and I found a lovely place for writing a poem.

I Am In Between

the grace of the water

the smile of the clouds

And I am in between.

Himalayan birth canal of green

ocean of sky for its mythic decent

And I am in between.

this River Goddess to millions

this heavenly blue blanket for all

And I am in between.

on a  grey stone seat.

Mantras on the shore

majestic hills lush with trees

carry on long after, born eons before.

My dissolving white sweet

laughs of splashing boys

melting blue candle

all fade like fleeting wave-noise.

And I am in between.

(by LyndiaP February 5, 2011)

Lyndia's India

Okay. It's Official.
It only took me a couple days to decide, but I'm starting a secondary blog for the India trip. Today was the "launch" if you will of the India blog. I danced around with name and formatting for awhile and finally got an intro post up for you! Feel free to saunter over to Lyndia's India for a full explanation.

Oh and do share this link with anyone who might be interested in living vicariously through this little experience of mine.

p.s. the actual url for Lyndia's India is www.LyndiaIndia.blogspot.com I didn't do the "s" because I think it looks funny...

introduction to JOALT

JOALT - I could back-ronym that for you but it's actually a bit of a jolt in a way so I will call it that for short. The Journey of A LifeTime (or JOALT) is my next phase. It's a 3 month trip to India and is so highly anticipated by me that I can't even describe it. The simultaneous thrilling delight and mild-terror of the unknown is quite amazing. No matter what way I slice it... this is very blog-worthy! In the last few weeks with holidays and "real life" and travel plans but I got so excited and involved in the preparations I've not thought about it much further.

A dear friend of mine, just recently, reminded me of this blog component. She made the most convincing argument in only seven words. In response to her almost-rhetorical question she said "you should call it Lyndia In India." Oh Man!! Did I ever dig that idea! But I'm not so sure if a solo blog for that would negate my ability to post anything here (given time constraints etc.)

So I will consider a little while longer. But the more I contemplate that stellar title the more I can't resist! Perhaps the wonder-bits & poems can also be copied to Tourist Candy too...

I'm open to feedback though!

Past Pictures for Poems

As I prepare for my journey of a lifetime I am not only preparing for the future but looking back into the past. Right now I happened to be at all the pictures I've taken while on trips, travel and vacation (all of which I consider slightly different). I realized most I haven't really done anything with or even shown to anyone! This shocked me and made me wonder. So, since I wondered... I thought it could be a blog post since that is just what this blog project is supposed to be about.

My wonder quickly led me to picking a few pictures to poem-ize and try to capture the image in less than the stereotypical number of words it's worth (1000 right?) but then also to let both try to take that past place with me in the future. Here goes...

White. Flower. Sky

White. Flower. Sky

Remember if you made me cry?

Didn't. Should have.

Astounded I.

Wanderlust led down evening's alleys

Dreamlike scenes drown in white wash galleries

Arrival night

then blooms light.

Surprises hourly

charmed and flowery.

Never locked-in

as tears unshed

but free through

infinity blue

that sky over-head.

poem and picture by LyndiaP January 4, 2011 and October 2010 respectively

Today watches the Future

Amidst all the excitement and celebration of the new year and all the change I hope it brings I h e begun to feel more of the uncertainty and instability that is not only inherent but also somewhat unnerving.

I am not in control here. So that's what it feels like! And the one thing I've learned already? If others are feeling bombarded, blind-sided or blown away too it's best to acknowledge what of those feelings are, in fact, theirs and not yours. I'm working on that one...

Bombarded Blind-Sided Blown Away

Thin strips of Future

dangling fading

in and out of view.

Here I sit

stunned and gazing

as the Past

stares right through

and I do too.

No names for all the waving slivers

clear or fog

I reach for few

watching o'er weakness,

unclear distinctions floating past

witness to waking

subtle quaking

compensating

for blurry recognition of the strips I've cast.

My Future bands now sewn up tight

I pass through motionless

soft sheer of time

bombarded

blind-sided

blown away

by that, as named, Today

dressed in foreshadows

reflecting on light.

Poem by LyndiaP January 3, 2011

Bring on the New Year!

I'm excited for this one. I think I've said it before - 2011 is going to be a good year. I actually went so far as to say I feel I will be winning a gold medal* in the category of life with this coming year. Yes, I am that sure.

So last night's great celebration was not just for the upcoming year but also of all the things that have laid the foundation for it to happen.

to 2011 and Beyond!

Thank you friends. Thank you pit-falls.
Thank you comforts. Thank you fears.

Goooooo 2011!

oh and special thank you to Jingle for the comments, support and even snazzy E-awards! (which, I must say I am not quite sure how to navigate...)

*note: the category of life is not a competition between people and so there is really no way to award a limited number of medals. You are the only competitor and the judge and the jury. Feel free to aim for the podium this year too.

Photo by LyndiaP December 31, 2010

Ultimate Reflection: first/last 2010

Thanks to the fabulous crew at www.reverb10.com I had sone excellent prompts to help me reflect on my year. So in my continues efforts to respond to as many as feel possible and right for me to respond to. My

December 1, 2010 prompt:One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
The word for 2010: resonance
Why? I have been coming up against many people, decisions and complexities and feel the litmus test is "does this resonate with me?" From what to do on a Friday night to picking a yoga school to (re)adopting new/old beliefs... I built my journey on elements with resonance.

I think 2011's word will be love. This is not just in a "superficial" way of things or experiences or people (but I'm sure of that too), but also love as a deeper power and perspective. Starting tomorrow, I have a feeling that I will be sporadically humming The Beatles more often "do do do-da doo all you need is love. Altogether now... All you need is love."

December 31, 2010 prompt:Core story. What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.)
My core story is being shares with the world more and more. I believe it came up here as well in the December Reverb10 postings too.
My story is the search, celebration and encouraging of passion and joy in myself and others.

The 30th & 2nd meet

Two more from www.reverb10.com

December 30th Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What's the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year? The most memorable gift I received this year was multi-part; the gift of insightful, meaningful & genuine teachers in my current phase of life.

December 2nd: Writing: What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
Three things:
1)Tell myself I don't have time. (I know this is untrue. If I just hold myself accountable I can definitely make time/find time every day.)
2)Being apathetic or indifferent, therefore no good, write-able observations. (Find something to write about every day.
3)Self-criticism. (Say the criticism out loud or write it and use it as writing.

Instant of Denotation

For December 29th the www.reverb10.com prompt is: Defining moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year

One defining moment or even a series is a pretty tough thing to pin down. As such, I'll be abstract and metaphorical with a poetic response.

Easy Hider
I used
The easy hider
layers
of self deception
bandage upon wound
scar above it all.
Somehow hidden
free from interpretation
examination.

Closer to the wound
Closure
Lower than the surface
cleaner than the raw
Raw status of old pain
and lined up again
under layers
awaiting diagnosis

So I open up the dressing
trying to exhale
as I let the flesh
define itself to me.

by LyndiaP, December 2010.

Two verbs and a Reverb

Two verb must be a reverb... so I am doing two reverb posts today - achieve & celebrate.
from today: Achieve. What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today. I am looking at achieving something slightly, inherently difficult to quantify as an "achievement" but think the changing of the frame of mind today with the 10 things would be useful: relinquishing control... well excessive control of the old ego in quotidian situations. By this I mean not go crazy and give up self-control but rather give up the need to be "in control" of every aspect of my day and life.

I'd feel at ease and free. Sounds good to me!

10 Things I can do or Thoughts I can think to get this started today:
- not put everything (anything?) into my schedule/calendar with warning alarms.
- no worring about how much time there will be for the activities in the day (which leads to)
- planning fewer things in the day
- not think of multiple solutions or possibilities for every situation or question
- laugh more (because that always just happens)
- listen to silence
- not interrupt people or "help finish sentences"
- not gather more information, just consider what I already know or have experienced
- make decisions with intuition
- not argue just to be right or get the last word

December 27th's prompt was te celebration of ordinary joy. Ordinary joy. Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?

There are many moments of ordinary joy, especially since I decided to "find the beauty in ugliness." Sometimes though those moments aren't exactly joy as intrigue or inspiration. But one such moment would be when I read or listen to messages or emails that are lighthearted, well-articulated and somewhat unexpected - an email from my cousin, a voicemail from my Grandmother or the first emoticon I ever saw my dad send! All those things of wonderful people reaching out and connecting with you is a shining sparkle of joy.

photogenic finds

From yesterday's www.reverb10.com reflective prompt I have decided on the photo-of-the-year, well, the portrait of me of the year. However, first I would like to say in this era of "profile pictures" I find myself pondering the great numbers of self-portraits and images on the whole of myself. It's very strange. I mean, when you think about it there is really no use for most of the pictures but they exist in such prolific numbers that I have to admit I question the purpose... but I have digressed. Here is the prompt
Photo - a present to yourself. Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

There are two photos - courtesy of Kelly Rosborough (on Picasa & with the Bokehccino Project)

Bathtub Part 1

 I had always wanted to have pictures taken in a bathtub... with something besides water in it. So for the first attempt I suggested shoes (the only think I could think of that I would have enough of to even get close to filling said tub) however, in subsequent shots I have used books and I was quite a bit happier with that since the quantity of shoes has nothing to do with my love for them whereas the quantity of my books is only a fraction of my loving for them. But I do feel this was the fun and creative self that I hope to display and cultivate.

&

Inner Strength  in an Autumn without a Fall.

Yoga in the park in the fall. It was perfect AND that I could attempt this pose (side-crow) without falling off the picnic table and with the two birds flying over the river in the background? Priceless. And even more so since I didn't have to make a health insurance claim for a broken nose or something... I think this, again, is a great shot by Kelly because it captures one of my favourite seasons with an activity I am very fond of and will be taking a 4 week training course for in early 2011.

Seconds Anyone?

The Reverb10 prompt after three of five days of eating? Appropriately, soul food. What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?
I love eating so consider almost everything unforgettable. However, given the large quantity of eating, much is likely forgotten. There are two different occasions that come to mind when the food was particularly soulful: 1) I undertook 3 months of vegetarianism (for a variety of well-informed reasons) and experimented with a variety of recipes on the spectrum of tastiness and success. One, however was particularly unimpressive: a vegetable soup with over cooked quiona and eggplant. I could hardly finish a serving let alone the 8-10 servings I had prepared. So I froze it hoping it would get better with age and frigidness. I was wrong.
One day, months later I had nothing left in the fridge and felt like I'd hit the jackpot when I found some glorious leftovers in the freezer. It was the barely edible soup. But I persevered, adding both spices and cheeses and some extra cooking I came out with a really satisfying and comforting creamy soup that was relatively healthy and actually missed it when it was gone.

2) I learned, from my grandmother, to cook verenecka (some traditional perogy-like pockets filled with cottage cheese or fruit). Our giant batch (possibly a triple or quadruple recipe) took at least two hours to prepare. Then we ate them pot-luck style with some family who had just crafted some delicious deep fried homemade doughnuts!

From one side of the spectrum to the other and everything in between!
Thanks again www.reverb10.com

it's good to be OK

Today's Prompt from www.reverb10.com: Everything's OK.
What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

I have a fear of getting stuck. I must have experienced it enough from people in their 40s and 50s that say how they regret not doing things earlier in their lives; folks with those coveted "good jobs" who only care about the marginal bit of time they have not at said job; and my own soul-crushing experiences that this is a very real fear.

In late winter, maybe the end of February, I committed to "keeping my eyes open" for other opportunities in life. I didn't make a vow or pact or anything, just knew I had to have a change soon. By about April I stumbled across several interesting job postings, got some good tips and even applied for something! Nothing panned out.

Then through spring I was dejected and busy and forgot about a lot of it. Things were put on hold and then I re-started the hunt for an apartment. By July I had moved AND was about 80% sure I would be going on another fabulous travel adventure in early 2011. That felt like momentum, change. So the Beast of Change was placated. Temporarily.

This urge was a a sneaky & persistent one though. Even when I thought I was satisfied with my job for another 6 months and settles on my India destination by the end of summer I found myself, one day in September, reading an intreguing job description online. I knewI had to apply. So around 10:30 that morning I began writing a cover letter. I expressed my interest & enthusiasm and then proceeded to profess my, unbeknownst to me, passionate academic intrest in this very area. I stopped writing the letter. I kind of froze at the computer. "Yeah," I thought to myself, "I really DO want to study something like this."

I was dazed for a moment. I had been researching and looking-into and reflecting and (over)-analyzing this very thing for several years. I CTRL-Sed the letter and went back online to look at Masters degrees in this area. There was one school I thought had a good program and my friend had just completed a different program with high regard for the school.

I was whipped into a frenzy and began looking into details, costs, start dates and application requirements. I requested the prospectus and signed up as a prospective student. Then in a moment of uncommon spontaneity I began applying.

I was well into the second page before my brain caught up to what my body was doing and I reviewed my last check-box response and answer-in-the-box-provided. I noticed I responded in the affirmative to "are you applying to any other schools" and had the audacity/foresight to start listing the schools in places I always wanted to go without bothering to even see if the exact program was even available.

At this point I was concerned for my own sanity and seriously doubted by suitability for any/all future endevours. "Why was all if this happening in a whim?" "Do I even know what I am talking about?" and a plethora of other questions came to occupy my mind. So while my mind was busy with those the Beast of Change went ahead and searched the websites for the three schools I listed (with space for an "unknown" fourth). I turned up interesting results twice with exciting programs at each and one less inspiring but passable option at the third. It wasn't what I had in mind. I went back to my search engine of choice and tried looking up yet another option and was given an astounding "suggested" (i.e. Sponsored) search recommendation along with my intended result. "Of course! That's the fourth place I always wanted to go!!" I thanked the Go...gods of the Internet, clicked and by 2pm had fallen flat on my electronic-face on the Masters degree program in the location of my dreams! Can I get an amen? It was a miracle.

So while hovering between the decision to start applying at once (which it turns out I couldn't as applications wouldn't be open for another two months) and going back to finish my cover letter, it hit me: I won't get stuck! Everything's gonna be OK.

*note: since this time I have completed my application and await with as much optimism as possible my acceptance to this program and in anticipation have booked my trip to India (as I do not forsee a Masters student being in the financial situation to do so) and even "quit my good job" and given notice on my apartment for when the time comes.

The Beast of Change is in line at the buffet just waiting to be fed.

wonder (December 4)

Apparently waking up at 4:35 am is not good for the pace of my wit or creativity. But since the bus-ticket-guy said to be an hour early this morning... I am here waiting for the ticket desk... TO OPEN & this find myself with some time to spend doing something that doesn't put me to sleep: blog time!
In my continued efforts to catch up to the Reverb10 prompts here is he December 4 edition – Wonder.

How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

Well I am stumped here. I am not sure whether to indicate just the premiss of this blog or a post in it or one specific thing.

Maybe I will cop out and use the blog itself.

I think the challenge to phrase things in the context of "wonder" certainly leaves no room for pessimism or disinterest. It was a bit stifling for my sarcasm at first but it forced my attitude to change and it I began performing and imagining more wonder around me; a self-fulfilling prophecy!

Wander for wonder and realized you never have far to go.

to Travel or not to Travel...

reverb10.com Prompt:  Travel. 
How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?


 Ah travel... something I am quite fond of and generally "a regular" so to speak. With 2009 having been the year of the airplane I made sure 2010 was a bit more environmentally friendly. I did a lot more bus travel, a great train trip and on the more-fossil-fuel side of things - some driving. I stayed in my own region of Canada (except for the one flight across the continent) and even explored my own province a bit with a "writing road trip" where I made a 2 hour trip into a 7.5 hour exercise in curiosity.

For 2011, I feel the return of the jet plane. I should probably buy some carbon credits or something since it's not the most direct of journeys... but I will be off to India for a good chunk of winter from February to mid-April (so January's blog is likely to have a lot of travel preparations!) and then a pit stop in Germany for 10 days. For many people that might be enough travel for awhile... but no, I hope to get at least three more trips in! Another big one: Ireland. And via Ireland Scotland, England/Wales, and if I can hack it - some year-end holiday in Portugal or Spain.... but that one's still in the "dreaming" phase.

I'm all vaccinated up and await my first visa of 2011 - away I go!!!

skip the fake it, just Make it (December 6)

Make.
What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

I've made poems - they usually take a lot less than non-poet-y people expect. Sometimes only a voice memo or a Tweet. Other times several pages of paper, ink smudges on hands, multiple rewrites and surely internal editors... but I'm not sure if that's what I constitute as my last "make." I'd probably more likely say cooking dinner for a friend, making soap from scratch or yesterday's "festive fruit crisp" for the latest holiday potluck. Even though it was overshadowed at the dessert table by a mountain of other things (not in plain tin pie plates?), I thought it was delicious - apples, rhubarb,  cranberries, nutmeg, cloves (and the usual: butter, brown sugar, oatmeal & cinnamon).

I'd really like to "make" another mosaic, a book and also more paintings & colleges but I feel more of the necessity is space (for said products afterward) than time... and in the realm of "making" food, a realm I like to visit often, I want to try making salsa, cheese, a fancy multi-tiered cake and the coloured/candied popcorn of my youth. If I can get three of those done by the end of summer I'll be pretty pleased!

Thanks Reverb10! Good post from Dec. 6th!

Caw-mew-naa-tee (December 7)

December 7 – Community.
Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

Poetry!! I definitely think that 2010 was the year of the Poetry Community. Both online and off there is so much flourishing, wonderful, inspiring new poetry that I can't believe my ears/eyes. From the annual poetry festival to the Stroll of Poets and other writing groups there has been so much great support here in Edmonton that I started to expand and see with the Internet(s) had to offer - to my excitement, there was a lot there too!

From my own creative challenge in October with Poe-a-Tweets and then jumping on board with the Poem A Day challenge in November I found so many great sites and forums and other e-poets that I was nothing short of thankful!
For instance there's Poetry Potluck (Mondays) on Jingle Poetry,
One Shot Wednesday at One Shot Poetry,  &
PoeticMindset.
Then the fabulous Tweeting Poets of which there are no shortage - in the most positive sense of the word.
Here are just seven great examples who I follow: Semaphore, Shashi, Pete Marshall, Leslie Moon, Theron Kennedy, Jem & Adam Dustus but try searching #poem, #poet or #poetry any hour of the day on Twitter and you're bound to find other great additions!

I think this is the first time that I felt a common bond in an online community and am quite excited to continue this adventure. I think the best part was that it was so well aligned to the discovery of the 'real-life' poetry scene & having them be so welcoming too!

Thanks Poetry! You made my 2010 way more share-y & fun. And the next time someone says poetry isn't a living, flourishing art form... I'll show them!