it's good to be OK

Today's Prompt from www.reverb10.com: Everything's OK.
What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

I have a fear of getting stuck. I must have experienced it enough from people in their 40s and 50s that say how they regret not doing things earlier in their lives; folks with those coveted "good jobs" who only care about the marginal bit of time they have not at said job; and my own soul-crushing experiences that this is a very real fear.

In late winter, maybe the end of February, I committed to "keeping my eyes open" for other opportunities in life. I didn't make a vow or pact or anything, just knew I had to have a change soon. By about April I stumbled across several interesting job postings, got some good tips and even applied for something! Nothing panned out.

Then through spring I was dejected and busy and forgot about a lot of it. Things were put on hold and then I re-started the hunt for an apartment. By July I had moved AND was about 80% sure I would be going on another fabulous travel adventure in early 2011. That felt like momentum, change. So the Beast of Change was placated. Temporarily.

This urge was a a sneaky & persistent one though. Even when I thought I was satisfied with my job for another 6 months and settles on my India destination by the end of summer I found myself, one day in September, reading an intreguing job description online. I knewI had to apply. So around 10:30 that morning I began writing a cover letter. I expressed my interest & enthusiasm and then proceeded to profess my, unbeknownst to me, passionate academic intrest in this very area. I stopped writing the letter. I kind of froze at the computer. "Yeah," I thought to myself, "I really DO want to study something like this."

I was dazed for a moment. I had been researching and looking-into and reflecting and (over)-analyzing this very thing for several years. I CTRL-Sed the letter and went back online to look at Masters degrees in this area. There was one school I thought had a good program and my friend had just completed a different program with high regard for the school.

I was whipped into a frenzy and began looking into details, costs, start dates and application requirements. I requested the prospectus and signed up as a prospective student. Then in a moment of uncommon spontaneity I began applying.

I was well into the second page before my brain caught up to what my body was doing and I reviewed my last check-box response and answer-in-the-box-provided. I noticed I responded in the affirmative to "are you applying to any other schools" and had the audacity/foresight to start listing the schools in places I always wanted to go without bothering to even see if the exact program was even available.

At this point I was concerned for my own sanity and seriously doubted by suitability for any/all future endevours. "Why was all if this happening in a whim?" "Do I even know what I am talking about?" and a plethora of other questions came to occupy my mind. So while my mind was busy with those the Beast of Change went ahead and searched the websites for the three schools I listed (with space for an "unknown" fourth). I turned up interesting results twice with exciting programs at each and one less inspiring but passable option at the third. It wasn't what I had in mind. I went back to my search engine of choice and tried looking up yet another option and was given an astounding "suggested" (i.e. Sponsored) search recommendation along with my intended result. "Of course! That's the fourth place I always wanted to go!!" I thanked the Go...gods of the Internet, clicked and by 2pm had fallen flat on my electronic-face on the Masters degree program in the location of my dreams! Can I get an amen? It was a miracle.

So while hovering between the decision to start applying at once (which it turns out I couldn't as applications wouldn't be open for another two months) and going back to finish my cover letter, it hit me: I won't get stuck! Everything's gonna be OK.

*note: since this time I have completed my application and await with as much optimism as possible my acceptance to this program and in anticipation have booked my trip to India (as I do not forsee a Masters student being in the financial situation to do so) and even "quit my good job" and given notice on my apartment for when the time comes.

The Beast of Change is in line at the buffet just waiting to be fed.

Life 101 (2010)

The #reverb10 prompt today gets right to the heart of "Life 101" for the 2010 term. Lesson learned: What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

Simple! (not easy, just straightforward) One thing I learned was to trust and respect my instincts.
Sounds "touchy-feely"? It probably is but no less important. This past year has definitely had a significant spiritual/philosophical theme. Trusting my instincts sure was an essential component in articulating my life passions, advocating for issues I know are critical, being creative and understanding complex feeling-processes like grief. Lots of those issues are a bit heavy for us folks in this culture of hyper-individualization. Following my instincts was actually empowering, pretty freeing and definitely made this year possible.

My plan for this lesson? Keep it close to my chest but close to the surface as I embark into the wonderful world of overseas travel, post-graduate studies and in my continued spiritual/philosophical journey. Simple? Not likely... but will probably simplify things in the long run. Maybe it'll even open up other lessons about love, understanding and truth (see? philosophical/spiritual trend again...)

Mundane-a-holic

Self-proclaiming from the mountains: "I am a Mundane-a-holic!" and so are many others... but only when we get to let our imagination and sense of wonder venture ahead to make all necessary translations.

My top-nine celebrations of the mundane include (in no particular order)

- small-town obsessions with having a sculpture of the "world's largest" something or other (examples in the province of Alberta check this out, but a personal favourite of mine is the Dragonfly in Wabamun)

- people who are excited and creative in their 'should-be-benign' business emails

- an Umbrella Cover Museum on Peaks Island Maine, USA

- optimism in current events (YES! and Ode Magazines)

- chicken noodle soup made from powdered chicken stock & any recipe you know by heart or would never tire of eating

- the Pop Art movement

- good ideas (such as most of TED)

-things I learnt from the book "The Art of Pilgramage" by Phil Cousineau (his wikipedia entry) which made me realized ALL of life is just travel

- and Sharing!! We should really all do more of it (i.e. Shareable Magazine)


Sometimes I forget these are a few of my favourite... well... things - that inspired me to focus on being a life-tourist.

Houseplant Dance

I think everyone should have a houseplant. If you say you can't take care of them or they always die...that's no excuse. Start with something easy... a hearty fern or a cactus.

Not only are these little plants a bit of spring in December and a low-budget way to commune with nature but they also provide numerous other benefits:

A) they give you practice should you be considering your first pet. Weekly waterings get overwhelming? Fail. No puppy for you!

B) they purify the air...kinda... unless you've got a veritable forest of violets, mini palms and lilies one person will probably produce more C02 than that one leafy purifier can filter... BUT you are going to feel great when you breath deeply near its recently-watered soil!

C) a friendly reminder of just how habitable your home is. Consider... if you don't have good enough tap water quality, regular amounts of sunlight and a tidy counter top somewhere... should ANYTHING really have to live like that?

D) built in audience of unwavering, unconditional solidarity. You'll never eat alone again, never dance in the living room without a crowd and can practices speeches or positive affirmations any time of the night or day.

And in a note of my own personal victory - something for all new plant-owners to look forward to: one day the droopy one will perk up, the stagnant one will double in size and the bland one you never liked will bloom in the most beautiful way...and it'll be all because of your careful attention & very limited effort.
So excuse me while I go do the Houseplant Dance.

Autumn Valley & the Peppermint Lady

Welcoming autumn with a bit of dismay these past two weeks or so, I was nearly overjoyed at the prospect of a warm, sunny, Friday, off-of-work afternoon. I didn't even mind the inconsiderate car that tried to run me and two colleagues off the road or the futile, frustratingly poorly timed traffic lights or the second-hand smoke wafting into my lungs and slowly killing me (ok, so I minded the smoke part). However it was The. Most. Glorious! walk home EVER (in September).

Normally uninspired by such things as being overdressed in the blazing sun I was euphoric (and already mildly sweaty) thus concluded I'd go for a last-of-the-season jog. I changed my clothes and laced up the sneakers (after digging them out from under all the sensible fall boots I'd already moved to the front row of my closet).

Since it was not a national holiday and still before 2pm I had the trail virtually to myself. To avoid the preemptive rush-hour assault I veered down a side street and into the river valley.

I had already determined that this jog was not a last ditch effort for summer weight loss (plus I had just read an article that concluded exercise, unless it's over 250 minutes per week of the most intense variety, doesn't actually contribute much to pound-shedding type goals...apparently the tried and true method of 'skipping dessert' is much more effective - who knew?!) rather this jog was to be an experience of the Great Outdoors (Urban Edition).

And Great it was. I may (or may not) be the sentimental type, but I nearly shed a tear when I descended into the river valley. (Sentimental fool!) There before me was an effortless and untarnishable beauty that made silly things like diamonds & Mona Lisas look like a disorganized cutlery drawer.

I am not one for waxing poetic (but am in fact the poetic type) but this was a thing to gush about! Innocent blue skies brushed with good-natured clouds to set a backdrop of beauty, both striking and humble, for the jovial colours dotted throughout the still-green tree tops like some kind of practical joke in artistry.
Obviously I considered taking a photograph, but I have learned through many a soul-crushing trial, that often times the most touchingly beautiful things cannot be captured justly on 'film' (aka. in megapixels).

I think one of my fondest travel memories from when I was in China was an instant in Beijing where we emerged from an underground mall via escalator into a sparsely populated square (by local standards) festively lit and just settling into its dusk colored dress. It was so magical that I surely had to capture the moment...and alas my camera batteries had other plans. So by the time I'd swapped in the new double AAs, the place was behind us an out of my potential photo portfolio forever.
I lamented that missed opportunity a lot after I returned home and reflected on everything. Every time I remembered the trip I wished I could show people this magical beauty that I experienced...until one day I realized that the picture I was holding in my mind was far more beautiful than that square ever really was - and I would probably be heartily disappointed if I (ever) were to return even at the exact moment and in the exact conditions.

It was then that I realized that there was an integral difference between pictorial and memory form - my memory never contradicted the increasingly grandiose beauty I bestowed upon that little Chinese plaza.

It made me glad to have forgotten my camera, really! So now I hope to start building my memory files instead of just my JPGs... and I hope others have some similar memories too!

But wait, crap! I was so enthralled in the beauty if autumn and the memories of foreign places I forgot to mention The Peppermint Lady.

Next time. Next time.

Cookies & Cycling

Pure pleasure: baking and bicycles. Back to basics: sweet and tantalizing on one end and refreshing liberation on the other. The ONLY thing not wonderful about these two things is that you can’t do them simultaneously. At least not easily.

I learned about the wonderfulness of baking from a long line of people who were darn good at it! Perfected family recipes, culinary courage to create and the secret ingredient in all baked goods: (no matter how cliché or gag-inducing) love. You never just bake something. You create it. Well, perhaps cookie dough that comes pre-formed in petroleum-based packaging isn’t exactly your loving creating… but you gotta start somewhere.

Then with some luck my inner baking-goddess found herself college roommates who helped hone the craft and libraries of websites devoted to making my cook-book cupboard a veritable antique shop! To my own surprise everything from pies to yeast breads have been conquered in my kitchen, but no matter what the baking epitome is still cookies.
And for good reason: there are usually fewer tedious or expensive ingredients in cookie recipe than other things like cinnamon buns or cheese cakes; cookies are baked in 8-10 minutes; you can eat the dough while you wait; and usually you only need one mixing bowl and spoon (less dishes afterwards – especially if you line your baking tray with some parchment paper, that’s an insider tip right there). If you are now torn between finishing reading and pre-heating the oven I understand.

Then came the bikes. I have to say this has been a much different love affair and I may very well be in the (second) honeymoon phase with bicycles. Obviously all approximately-seven-year-olds have their first-love bicycles, but all too often within about eight years (North Americanly speaking) this monumental relationship has been banished to the confines of “babyish” or the even more dreaded “uncool.” But the somewhat collective renewal of the bicycle vows have made my pedal-powered generator whirr with delight. My own love was temporarily crushed when a stranger ignored my padlock and ended my 5 year off and on romance with Gigi the 12 speed. I took a 14 month hiatus from all things cycling for reasons of grief and winter. Then all things were righted when I found Lola.






Oh semi-cruiser Lola with your periwinkle frame! I lock you up in my closet because I love you and that’s the truth.


Sitting here on my couch I can almost feel the gears shifting and the dinging of mandatory bell when passing pedestrians (which is, something of a regulation in my fair municipality) it is just so pleasant to feel wind in your hair (well, under the complementary blue helmet) and see the things you would have missed in a bus or car ,but (and this is the best part) getting there in a third of the time it would have taken to walk! Oh what fun it is to ride… my bicycle all day long. (Sing it with me now…)

Chocolate chips and spokes?? So here’s my attempt to bring these seemingly unrelated loves together and I hope it will soon be more than just a crazy plan. Since I splurged for the saddle bags not for reasons of practicality or grocery shopping, no, I can fill each 70 litre sack with home-baked cookies and ride off into the sunset. If you don’t hear from me in three weeks… assume I am fine and happy and eating a lot of cookies while pedaling to my heart’s content.

But before that... do the world a favour, three favours actually - first, bake some cookies. There will always be someone who you can share with or might smell their warm wafting scent out your window or door. Quite simply you are making the world a better place. Second, ride a bike somewhere. You are free to go from road to sidewalk and back again (with due caution of course) and how much more liberating can it get? You are free to wave and smile at anyone you pass too. Then heck! Then let’s make life a party and try doing these things at the same time: ta da! There you go: cookies and cycling! Sounds like heaven to me. And if nothing else… do the things you love. I guess I can’t expect everyone to dream of cookie picnics beside two-wheeled human-powered transportation.

However, don’t forget that the most important thing in all this is to realize how great it is while it’s happening. In the significantly paraphrased words of Kurt Vonnegut: too often people don’t see when something truly wonderful is happening. So next time you are in the middle of doing something lovely think to yourself, ‘my! If this isn’t nice then I don’t know what is!’

Urban Hiking

Okay it’s official! No one knows the difference between walking and hiking. I attended a workshop yesterday from two long-experienced hikers from a local mounteering club and it became clear that there was no distinctive, solid delineation between hiking and walking.

Don’t even bother looking on the Internet or in a Dictionary (you know, the big book that doesn’t have phone numbers it in). If you find something that looks authoritative, you’re wrong. If you have a gut feeling you know the difference… you don’t. Don’t worry, I can already tell. At BEST you are going to give your subjective personal interpretation and likely try and pull in something scientific like physical exertion rates or the gradients of the trail or path. You might think that walking is less strenuous but I have learned otherwise. Consider, this sage-like wisdom: you are only as fast as the slowest hiker. Of course, this is based on a essential arguments that you a) want to have a slowest hiker in your group and b) you want to wait for them and keep them in your group. I think the only answer to this is that, yes, OF COURSE you want a ‘slowest hiker’ in your party! It’s the only way the famished wild cat or black bear will spare you on account of YOU not being the slowest hiker of the bunch. But I digress.

Back to your feeble attempts to figure out the difference between hiking and walking. At best, all of your authoritative references are really only attempts. Yes, even for those of you with a great the up-the-side-of-a-mountain anecdote or trails with the word “hiking” in it examples. I am about to blow that all out of the water with two words: urban hiking. This is most certainly a taste of wonderful. Definitely. The premises here is that you can have all the joy and escapism of hiking with none of the costs or hassle. We all live somewhere and have to go somewhere else: so try Urban Hiking to get there. No it’s not the same as that low-culture, un-glamourous walking! I would never suggest that. This is Urban Hiking. You can discover and experience and marvel… at things you THOUGHT you saw everyday but have never really observed.

 unofficial Urban Hiking mecca: NYC

It bends your mind just a little bit and pushes you on into realms of wonderful when you move at a human pace and do so with the goal of noticing. It seems to me that if I negate everything I said up until this sentence about the non-existent definitions of walking and hiking that there is significant difference in the essence of the two activities. It is precisely our frame of mind while we are participating or anticipating them. Both walking and hiking let you move at this wonderful human-pace but only hiking instantly initiates (to the point of demanding) a heightened sense of observation and opportunities for marvelling.

Consider the last time you went on a “hike” and didn’t notice anything about the bends in the trail, how the tree roots intersected the path and whether or not there was a patch of mud or a creek blocking the path? Now try to remember the way the sidewalk looks or if there are benches or flowers between your home, say, and the grocery store. I’m not saying you can’t but there is most definitely a lack of detail or excitement, is there not? And if it’s not your walk from the market then maybe it’s some other trail. Think of all the stupid boring walks that could become treks on an average weekday! Don’t feel that you have to live in a metropolis to try Urban Hiking. You could also do Rural Hiking, Suburban Hiking or even Foreign Hiking like I alluded to earlier (for example the photo of Hikers below was taken while I was on Foreign Hike in Budapest, Hungary).

If there were rules about Urban Hiking I think there would be only two and it would be essential to follow both: 1) Observe your moments of awe and 2) No treadmills allowed. And a suggestion (but not a rule) on the pragmatic end of things (in light having both a chiropractor and massage therapist): consider your footwear options before and a light stretching routine after your Urban Hiking adventure.

Beyond that, it’s all fair game. Urban Hiking wouldn’t even need to be outdoors but I highly recommend it. Hike in your office from the board to staff meeting. Try or places in your neighbourhood, school or (dare I say it) shopping mall but do it with the same open and expectant mind that you would if you had just discovered a beautiful forest clearing in which to pitch your tent or have flown yourself to one of the Wonders of the World at great expense as if that currency was buying you wonder.