skip the fake it, just Make it (December 6)

Make.
What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

I've made poems - they usually take a lot less than non-poet-y people expect. Sometimes only a voice memo or a Tweet. Other times several pages of paper, ink smudges on hands, multiple rewrites and surely internal editors... but I'm not sure if that's what I constitute as my last "make." I'd probably more likely say cooking dinner for a friend, making soap from scratch or yesterday's "festive fruit crisp" for the latest holiday potluck. Even though it was overshadowed at the dessert table by a mountain of other things (not in plain tin pie plates?), I thought it was delicious - apples, rhubarb,  cranberries, nutmeg, cloves (and the usual: butter, brown sugar, oatmeal & cinnamon).

I'd really like to "make" another mosaic, a book and also more paintings & colleges but I feel more of the necessity is space (for said products afterward) than time... and in the realm of "making" food, a realm I like to visit often, I want to try making salsa, cheese, a fancy multi-tiered cake and the coloured/candied popcorn of my youth. If I can get three of those done by the end of summer I'll be pretty pleased!

Thanks Reverb10! Good post from Dec. 6th!

that Healing Feeling

For #reverb10 today the topic is healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden or slow evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?"

With no real physical ailments to speak of in 2010, I will have to approach this from a different angle. As such I took a minute to look up the word "heal" because I've found so many times that an assumedly straightforward word is far more beautifully complex than I realize. I was not disappointed with my foray into the depths of heal.

For 2010, my healing would be of the "cleanse and purify" brand for my whole self in relation to the difficult, emotional, life-changing events of the past 15 months. This was definitely an evolution that likely still isn't complete.
So for 2011? Heal: to restore, reconcile, mend. This kind of healing is a restoration of two components of myself - the all-dominating logical, meticulous, efficient self and the eager-to-grow creative, soulful, intuitive part... good thing I've got 365 days.

Life 101 (2010)

The #reverb10 prompt today gets right to the heart of "Life 101" for the 2010 term. Lesson learned: What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

Simple! (not easy, just straightforward) One thing I learned was to trust and respect my instincts.
Sounds "touchy-feely"? It probably is but no less important. This past year has definitely had a significant spiritual/philosophical theme. Trusting my instincts sure was an essential component in articulating my life passions, advocating for issues I know are critical, being creative and understanding complex feeling-processes like grief. Lots of those issues are a bit heavy for us folks in this culture of hyper-individualization. Following my instincts was actually empowering, pretty freeing and definitely made this year possible.

My plan for this lesson? Keep it close to my chest but close to the surface as I embark into the wonderful world of overseas travel, post-graduate studies and in my continued spiritual/philosophical journey. Simple? Not likely... but will probably simplify things in the long run. Maybe it'll even open up other lessons about love, understanding and truth (see? philosophical/spiritual trend again...)

11 Things to Lose (for December 11)

Again, me catching up for #reverb10...
December 11 was another great prompt I can't pass up: What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

1) Regret.
Eliminate by - doing anything I think I could 'regret' later & let it pass when it comes up instead of getting sucked in by it.
Improves life because - I will be doing things that make me happy and can be free to learn by the past instead of being obsessed with something 'wrong' about it.

2) too many shoes & coats.
Eliminate by - not buying any new and getting rid of some of both.
Improves life because - saves money, reduces baggage and limits decision-making.

3) saying "I'm busy" when asked 'how are you?'.
Eliminate by - finding and using new responses.
Improves life because - stop obsessing with doing more than I can, create opportunities to talk/listen about life instead of 'to-do lists'

4) Gin.
Eliminate by - pouring out the single bottle in my cupboard (likely just giving it away) and refusing to order it anywhere.
Improves life because - it is the only alcohol that makes me feel like I have less than 24 hours to live but I still drink it on occasions of mind-boggling incongruity to this established fact.

5) fast food Chinese or French Fries
Eliminate by - saying no to buying or eating either.
Improves life because - both, like #4, are known to make me physically ill or uncomfortable in exchange for the short moments of 'delicious-ness pleasure.'

6) Others' definitions of Success.
Eliminate by - realize my own definition, stick to it & work toward it.
Improves life because - less self judgement and (see #8)

7) Soda/Pop.
Eliminate by - not considering it a treat or having on special occassions
Improves life because - it would stop the headaches and stale sugar taste I hate and I often get afterwards. It would also be healthier.

8) Over Analysis.
Eliminate by - follow my gut instincts and let my mind settle and be quiet more often.
Improves life because - reduces stress, headaches and validate my intuition which is empowering.

9) Expensive Cosmetics.
Eliminate by - not using costly/designer makeup, lotions or soaps
Improves life because - more budget friendly, less chemicals, increase acceptance of self as is.

10) Forgetfullness of Dreams.
Eliminate by - keeping a log of dreams remembered and for making time and a mental focus to write them down.
Improves life because - source for creating and insight (two things I value).

11) Crash Diets.
Eliminate by - normally eating healthy and not being overindulgent (but when/if it happens not to regret (see #1).
Improves life because - healthier, less self judgement, more energy and a better attitude.

5 Minutes (December 15th)

The #reverb10 prompt for yesterday, December 15 was
Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
Fun! How could I pass that up?! Shockingly, under faux pressure of losing one's memory in 5 minutes it becomes ridiculously hard to rememer things...

My 5 Minutes (for 2010):

list:
30 second poetry reading in red shoes (then many more after that)

Yoga journey: from libraries and parks and theatres to books and silence and philosophy and now a Jaunary-dated plane ticket booked for India!

Train trip across the Canadian Rockies - reading, observing, embracing and then watching a rare Prince Rupert sunset. The woman who lived in the oldest house in town (now right beside the casino) sang La Vie en Roseto us at breakfast. Then we walked to the shore to see the majestic eagles.

Gators in Florida! of the real, humongous brand and even of the "fruit smoothie" type - but the latter only named after not included as an ingredient.

My search for self, soul and defining the strength of femininity.

One month of a Poem A Day

Deliberating on universities to apply to for my Masters degree and finding the top three.

Learning to make paska, verenika and shneeball from the expert

Sistina and soap making

Moving to a downtown apartment and having the first annual Sisters Week

Not buying clothes for 8 months and counting!

Painting, photographing and the present moment

Building relationships and young leaders 'from 9 to 5' by following their imaginations...

(*phew* that's tiring!) LyndiaP December 16, 2010

Friendship

So here's the December 16th prompt - How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

There were so many friends both bursting and gradually changing my perspectives this year. Transforming  confusion to opportunity with their own stories and coming out of unexpected places just when I needed them.

One of the experiences I am most struck by is more of me being a witness to the change of a friend. She grew, quite literally into a first-time mother. I really did not expect to be so impacted by it but I felt it was not only an amazing transformation of her but also a display of such Realness and Beauty that I couldn't help but be moved. I have never thought of the capacity to have a child in such an awe-inspiring and truly miraculous way but I really felt it. This is not to say I will be manifesting any such experience for myself in 2011, but to be able to observe the pregnancy progression to the tiny infant was totally inspiring. And for that I thank my dear friend; the growing hope and love that she showed resonated with me and gave me more hope and love for, as cheesy as it is, the whole world.

I'd say that was a bit of a perspective changer.

Thanks #reverb10!

no Monopoly on Empathy

I too have been inspired by a book called "The Age of Empathy" by Frans de Waal . Biology and evolution in clear and accessible prose to expose the roots and embedded nature of empathy? Discounting the "sprung up like mushrooms" notion? That's a good idea to me!

A society based purely on selfish motives and market forces may produce wealth, yet it can’t produce the unity and mutual trust that make life worthwhile. This is why surveys measure the greatest happiness not in the wealthiest nations but rather in those with the highest levels of trust among citizens.

Cross-species Observation

 In Response

Empathy Monopoly

and we sit in parks or chairs
gaze at lovers with warm stares
dry a tear or laugh to share

justify we don't compare
to anything that won't shave hair
do car repairs
or stockings wear?

As if humans monopolized
the ability to care.

photo and poetry by LyndiaP December 16, 2010

Called You

Called You

If my lies could no more be typed

or sent
or texted
or recorded

What if I only called you.

If your fears could no more be avoided
or sluffed
or repressed
or hidden

What if I only called you.

If our war no longer lingered
or overwhelmed
or suffocated
or blamed.

What if I only called you.

LyndiaP November 25, 2010 (PoemADay 25 of 30)

100 Wonders

There are all kinds of lists of things "you should" do or read or go or eat or listen to or learn about etc, etc, etc. I've always wanted to have a whole list of one hundred accomplished in my life but it only just occurred to me that quite likely I already DO have my own!

So should anyone out there want to live as I have (at least 100 experiences worth) here is my "already accomplished" list:

1) build a stereo cabinet
2) bake yeast bread
3) walk on the Great Wall of China
4) join a floor hockey team
5) learn how to install a toilet
6) make a mosaic table top
7) bike over 60km in one day to surprise parents
8) write a poem a day
9) eat duck's tongue
10) go up the Eiffel Tower to catch a daylight view, sunset and night scape of Paris
11) take a Spanish class for fun
12) get an asymmetrical amount of ear piercings
13) take a solo road trip to visit a grandparent
14) eat Cuban food in Panama City with three strangers from another country
15) read a French (translated to English) novel on a train in central China
16) make 14 varieties of homemade chocolates in one day
17) compare bagels in Montreal
18) eat gelato in Italy seven times in six days
19) learn how to weld
20) develop photographs in a dark room
21) sleep in a cave hostel in Cappadocia, Turkey
22) perform the national anthem at the beginning of an event
23) pitch your softball team into the finals
24) run a 5km race for charity (in a festive costume)
25) learn how to manage a website (at a basic level)
26) read your own poetry in public
27) teach senior citizens how to build and paint a birdhouse
28) go tobogganing in the Canadian prairies
29) crochet multiple afghans
30) donate baking to a political cause
31) write letters to your elected officials over educational, foreign and environmental affairs
32) eat without seeing (all dark restaurant)
33) perform at your high school graduation
34) steal tea from a hotel in London England
35) tour the Lourve, House of Terror and Umbrella Cover & new Acropolis museums
36) volunteer at a hospital, elementary school and an outdoor music festival
37) read 32 books in 365 days
38) be a radio DJ
39) see a performance of The Phantom of the Opera
40) do yoga on Vancouver Island, in a library, at a park and in a theatre under renovations
41) go on a photo safari
42) eat dessert for breakfast in Greece
43) take a kid to see their first play
44) go scuba diving in the Caribbean Ocean without lessons
45) sing in a choir festival in British Columbia
46) go jogging in New York City
47) take a train through the Canadian Rockies
48) honour history and the lives lost in the Holocaust by visiting a concentration camp
49) marvel at the Rhine, Vlalta, Danube and Yangtze rivers
50) drink red wine while gazing into the Trevi Fountain
51) go to Strasbourg (as a friend put it "it's always open")
52) go bridge jumping (but don't say I told you)
53) see the Grand Canyon
54) eat Goulash in Hungary
55) take a self portrait on the border of Europe/Asia, Saskatchewan/Manitoba & the Netherlands/Belgium
56) glimpse a giant gator, buzzard and manatee in Florida
57) get a slurpee or fast food in a prom dress
58) DJ a wedding
59) be interviewed by local news media at a jazz festival in Panama
60) take a painting class then go home and paint without rules, abandon or purpose
61) replace the end of your extension cord
62) go 'speed dating' in a foreign language
63) take a cooking class in another country
64) appreciate the 'public art' in airports (Chicago O'Hare, Houston International, etc)
65) sing karaoke on a Chinese tour bus
66) submit a short story and/or photographs to a contest
67) cross the Charles, Brooklyn and Bosphorus bridges
68) have an indoor picnic in an unseasonal snow storm
69) go on a spontaneous road trip with only the clothes on your back (& your wallet)
70) be amazed at all the action on the Las Vegas strip
71) ride the roller coaster at a town fair in Alberta
72) eat fresh lobster in Maine
73) witness the natural wonder of Old Faithful
74) visit Writing-On-Stone park and climb in the hoodoos
75) watch street performers in Munich, Edmonton and Prague
76) tell folktales of the world to classes of preschool to seventh grade students
77) take an online writing course
78) prepare butter chicken from scratch
79) decorate you cubicle/office/workplace for an obscure holiday
80) be a part of a human pyramid
81) participate in inter-generational bowling
82) make your own cosmetics, jam and shower cleaner
83) host a BBQ for 150 people
84) sew a piece of clothing
85) don't purchase any clothing for 8 months
86) make masquerade masks and go to a masquerade party on New Year's Eve
87) go on a four-block holiday and tour your own neighbourhood
88) help conduct your country's census
89) take a hula hoop lesson
90) learn to prepare the traditional cuisine of your ethnic/cultural/religious background
91) kick a field goal
92) go to a Turkish bath
93) sleep under dinosaur fossils in a museum
94) read in a hammock near the equator
95) host a costume/Halloween party
96) get a tattoo
97) burn a bra (for art's sake of course)
98) paddle in a dragonboat team
99) take percussion lessons
100) plant an urban garden in your flower beds
101) make your own darn list of 100 wonderful things you've done & celebrate your life

Feel free to share some here too!

Create-A-Fear

I have just realized how easy it is to create fear...but how equally easy it CAN be to create yourself OUT of fear too. Some may call this an all-to-wordy paraphrase of "fake it 'till you make it" but I think I'm trying to say something a bit different.

Sometimes when you are self-effacing something (i.e. jargon-filled way of describing the "fake-it" scenario) you are merely (or astoundingly) managing to forget the fear or push it into the subconscious. I'm not a psychoanalysis expert but I don't see how self-effacing can be a good long term plan.

An example before I continue, so you are getting ready for a big job interview and feel nervous. You really can't prove your calm self confidence when you are so eye-twitchingly nervous - the two are rather contradictory. Fake-it-'till-you-you-make-it (self-effacing) would have you repeating confident phrases to yourself in the mirror or simply putting it out of your mind until the situation is over. Then you have your stellar un-nervous interview and try not to wonder to where all that negative nervous energy went. If you are truly successful at self-effacing you should never even consciously think about that interview-nervousness again. But that feels rather short term an likely to explode one day...
so I say Create-A-Fear... or rather create your way out of the fear - you invented it in the first place!

I think there are many thing to create that can eliminate fear but it depends on the situation. (*note: I'm not saying you should 'create' your way out of a healthy fear of, say, going swimming in an electrical storm. I only mean non-bodily harming fears...)

Identifying my own fear to be sharing my crazy ideas, I decided to create an ongoing opportunity when I could express some of them: Open mic nights. Then I created a format that felt genuine and fun and armed myself with these crazy idea poems. I have already (in four months) gone from a shaky hand signing up to read to the name being down before I knew I had anything to say.

So where am I going with this you say? Ha, I dunno... but it sure was a wonderful feeling today when I realized I was no longer afraid.

Wonderful Worlds: Lost

In all the words in the world I ended up with these, for now...today... but there are SO many other obvious combinations and mutations that one could never hope to write even the majority of them in one's own primary language. However, there are times when you read someone else's work of words and can't help thinking (or screaming...depending on the length and specificity of the similarity) "damn, I wish I had written that!"

I find the token genre where that happens most to me is travel writing... and comedy about banality, but the latter I'll save for another time. All of my favourite books are favourites absolutely because they connected with me in that perfectly right way. Many were the kind of things I'd always wanted to write about and now admittedly probably won't.

I felt the closest I could get to actually writing them would to be to write ABOUT them and get others to experience their wonderful wordy glory. So thanks to Flashlight Worthy books I've got my first list with many "oh damn, that was a good idea" titles. Enjoy!

http://www.flashlightworthybooks.com/Great-Books-for-Getting-Lost-in-Wonderful-Foreign-Worlds/631

Finding Things

There is a certain positive connotation with successfully 'finding' something that can't be replicated in successfully 'ignoring', 'fixing' or 'finishing' something. In the last two days I've found my favourite jacket, three dollars, a bit of underlined newspaper I could make into a poem, the perfect box to store some books under my bed and a bill that needed paying. Each of these things had drastically different outcomes but had the same sense of tangible, practical, sanity-restoring relief.

Only rarely does someone find something and think, 'curses! I finally found x!' Granted, It's probalby fair to say no one really ever says 'curses!' at all anymore in any real-life, unscripted context but nonetheless. Not being happy to find something is merely unsuccessful avoidance, a totally different undertaking. Even when it's that payment-due-tomorrow statement, boring report to submit or the email your boss needed you to forward - it is tangible success that allows your potentially panicking mind to take a deep breath and move on to something else.

So today, I hope you find something - especially if he/she/it in his/her/itself IS wonderful. Then, if you're on a roll, also take a second to be grateful that you found him/her/it - like a whole moment-of-silence style. Finding that feeling of gratitude will just be icing on the cake of un-lost stuff!

Now, I've got a bill to pay, some books to store and a jacket to wear and I'm grateful to be able to do all of it!

TGI*gasp* Friday! The Thirteenth!

I have to say it. I have to! Friday the 13th is wonderful!

I will spare you the tirade into the roots of the superstition (being predominantly that of lunar cycles and goddess worship that became "passé" -understatement of the year- with the advent of monotheism. But feel free to read up on it here  for starters. There are also more 'academic' sources if you are so inclined, just ask...me or Google.)

However, my reason for thinking Friday the 13th is wonderful is beyond that. It is even more than the fact that it is FRIDAY the 13th (that's *Friday* people!). THIS day unlike all others is a fantastic was to become positively self-aware. And it's easy! Because you'll likely be doing it already (i.e. worrying about mirrors that shatter when you sneeze in their general direction, black felines that may have possibly ever touched the same pavement as you are about to step on and evil spells bound to conjure up simeltaneously an epic bought of -now no longer pandemic- Swine Flu-and cause you to lose your job in an instant.)

You will be totally aware of all these thing and reflecting on all kinds of other 'hidden meanings' and the like. So turn this awareness to some good use today! Just make it a bit more focused: look for beauty instead of mirrors, words of gratitude instead of those that harm and love instead of cats (fine! That last one's subjective...maybe I'm more of a dog person, but you're picking up what I'm putting down.)

Celebrate your everyday today! Start a movement... Happy Friday the thirteenth!

Poe-a-Tweets

Today, like many other days I felt as though there were too many things to remember. I don't mean groceries or errands or long To-Do lists but rather the stories and mini-adventures that took place from rolling out of bed until, well, now and that's only mid-afternoon:
I picked delicious summer berries, went on a jog and passed an open moving truck filled with amazingly interesting stuff, drove through a colourful downpour and took a windy walk around in a strange city (see Urban Hiking).

This is, of course only the beginning of each story but you know as well as I do that there is never enough time to actually write all the adventures with due attention and still keep up with things like sleep (or the more pesky: work). So I came up with a plan (inspired by a book by Jill Jepson which I'll explain some other time): Poe-a-Tweets... or colloquially: "TodayInAPoem." If you aren't the technology enamoured type then Twitter may not be your thing and if you aren't interested in another channel to access the barage of human banality (for the large part in 'Public' land) than Twitter may also not be your thing.

Let me just say that it took a bit of effort and great deal of searching for interesting people to 'follow' before I found a use. For one thing, instant 'publication' of mini-poems and my soon-to-be Creative Challenge of the Month.*

So for the next 30 days (pending reliable Internet connections each day) I plan to use my LyndiaP Twitter feed and my beloved hash tag (or in English 'searchable theme name') #TodayInAPoem to help me digest all these servings of wonderful and share the sweeness. (I'll try to post the weekly results on Tourist Candy too)

I like TodayInAPoem (or TiAP if you prefer a good acronym) because it forces you to get to the essence of the story and they are so short that I can pump out quickly, say ten, in one end-of-the-day writting session.

Today's TiAP (pardon the redundancy)
Raspberried soles/tracing province-crossing pavement/imagination so colour saturated/slate grey skies weep/golden canola tears

*the Creativity Challenge of the Month is basically like a New Month Resolution in creativity and is a sure fire way for me to motivate myself to find time to make stuff. I always thank myself later too because it's such a Happy-Inducing challenge.

Oxymorons

I want to find out who invented oxymorons. I think they are quite wonderful (this illustrious inventor and his/her invention). I must admit that oxymorons are the most wonderful of all when used ironically but, simultaneously aren't so asinine that they cause me a frustration induced migraine.

It's hard, like with so many potentially annoying things (such as the blatant misuse of the apostrophe) to ascertain where one can draw a line between uncontrollable giggles of amusement and forceful vigilante vengeance. It's a subtle distinction. It is also a subtle understanding. An understanding of language that doesn’t always find itself in common practice. I’m definitely not saying that people don’t understand oxymorons or would be better off if they did understand them. I think the real underlying bit of wonderful here is that interest and even snippets of joy that comes from understanding a language really well. Now this is sounds linguistically elitist, I’m sure, but be assured that in no way am I discouraging people from learning only a bit of another language or trying to assert that English is better than other languages – again, totally untrue. I won’t go into a long spiel about the benefit of multi-lingualism but I will say that no matter how many languages – the ability for expression is not only empowering but it also, in my opinion, encourages more diverse and plentiful ideas and innovations.

How many times has some ingenious use of language inspired you? Sadly if you are only reading billboards this may not happen as often as you would like (or clearly, as I might like). So revel in the chances you get. It is a giant pinprick of light flooding an endless ocean – these linguistic lightning strikes in a curious mind.